joke for facebook

AMERICAN LIFE STYLE..

DAUGHTER:" Sorry Dad, I Got Married
Yesterday..
Forgot To Invite You...

DAD : " You Naughty.. It's Ok.

But Don't Forget Next Time!!

status for facebook

Kisi se umeed kiye bina uska achha karo...
Kyuki...jo log phool bechte hai unke haath me khushbu aksar reh jaati hai!!

joke for facebook

Son was filling the application form of a school..

Son: Papa, mother tongue kya likhu??

Dad: Likh de, very long and uncontrollable.

joke for whatsapp

FACT of GOOGLE: . .
50% of the people use it well as a search engine..!!

The other 50% of the people use it to check iftheir internet is connected or not!!

status for facebook

My ATM password has more digits
than my bank balance...

picture for facebook

joke for whatsapp

A SMS sent by a Man 2 his wife:
'Hi Honey, I am just having my last beer, &
I will be home in 30 minutes. If I am
not, please read this SMS again

joke for facebook

Angry Moment


when you are sleeping & someone enters
your Room,
turns on the Lights & then leaves Without
turning it OFF..!!!

joke on girls

When a Guy does Something Wrong...

Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident... I didn't mean to..!!
Girl : I can't believe you did this.
Boy : I'm Sorry.. !! 

When a Girl does Something Wrong...

Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident... I didn't mean to..!!
Boy : I can't believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I'm Sorry.. !

joke for facebook

Teacher= 'Loafer' Or 'Offer' Me Kya Antar
Hai?

Student= Very Simple Mam!
'I Love U'.

Agar Ladka Bole To
'Loafer'

Or

Ladki Bole To
'Offer.

shayari for lovers

khuda ne jab tumhe banaya hoga,
hajaro saal dekha hoga, lakho saal nihara
hoga,
phir usne socha  tumhe swarg main
rakh le…..
lekin phir use mera khayal aaya hoga…..!

shayari for facebook

Hasrat hai sirf tumhe pane ki,
aur koi khawahish nahi is Dewane ki,
shikwa mujhe tumse nahi khuda se hai…..
kya zarurat thi tumhe itna khuubsurat
banane ki.

shayari for lovers

Hum ne her shaam chirago se saja rakhi
hai,
par shart hawaon se laga rakhi hai,
na jane kis gali se aa jae mera sanam…..
hum ne her gali phuulon se saja rakhi hai.

shayari for facebook

Hum aap ko kabhi khone nahi denge,
juda hona chaha to bhi hone nahi denge,
Chandni raton me ayegi meri yaad…..
meri yaad k wo pal aap ko sone nahi
denge.

shayari for facebook

Bada arman tha tere sang jeewan bitane
ka,
shikwa hai to bas tere khamosh reh jane
ka,
Deewangi is se bad kar kya hogi,
aaj bhi hume intizar hai tere aane ka.

shayari for lovers

Tamana Khuch Bhi Nahin
Ek Tere Deedar K bina,
Zindagi Adhoori Hai Meri
Tere Pyar K bina.

shayari for girls

Raat ko raat ka tohfa nahi dete,
dil ko jazbaat ka tohfa nahi dete,
hum tu tumhe chand bhe de dete…..
magar Chand ko Chand ka tohfa nahi
dete…..

shayari for girls

Talaash Karo koi tumhe mil jayega,
Magar hamari tarah tumhe kaun chahega,
Zarur koi chahat ki nazar se tumhe
dekhega…..
Magar ankhein hamari kahan se layega…..!

shayari for girls

Log kehte hain ki ishq itna mat karo,
ki hussan sar pe sawar ho jaaye…..!
hum kehte hai ki ishq itna karo,
ki patthar Dil ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaye..!

shayari for girls

Ae zindagi yu mujhse daga na kar,
Mai zinda rahu ye dua na kar….
Koi chhata hai tujhe to hoti hai zalan……
Ae hawa tu bhi use chhuaa na kar….

AWESOME JOKE ON GIRLS

Two girls were playing chess

(joke doesn't end here).

girl 1-

Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak rahe hai.

girl 2:

Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi

bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda.

The joke doesn't end here either:O

Phir waha ek ladka aata hai.

Boy:

Chalo girlzz, chess khelte hai.

both girlzz:

Nahi, tum to hume aasani

se hara doge.

Boy:

Chalo yaar. Tum dono aur mai akela.

both girl:Phir bhi hum haar jayenge

Boy :Okay, mai left hand se khelunga.

both girlzz:

Haan. yupee Phir thik hai.:DD

The joke still doesn't end.

Dono obviously haar jate hai aur ladka

whan se

chala jata hai.

girl 1:

Badi sharmanaak baat hai, yaar. Left

hand se bhi hara diya usne.

girll 2 (thoda sochne k baad ):

Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.

girl1: Kaise?

girl 2: Saala lefty hi hoga kamina...

AWESOME STATUS

Girls Express Their Feelings With Gussa And Tears..
&
Boys Express Their Feelings Wid sutta & Beers..

joke for facebook

A man’s feeling

It feels like a mini heart attack
when you  dont find my mobile in my pocket
&
Its almost like heart fail
when you see it in my girlfriend’s hand !

joke for facebook

Class Room Is Like A Train

1st Two Benches R Reserved For
VIP .

Next Two Benches R General Coach



Then

Last Two Benches Are Very Demanding





Bcoz Its."SLEEPER COACH"

PJ FOR WHATSAPP

Boy: My Father's name is LAUGHING and my Mother's name is SMILING.

Teacher: You must be Kidding?


Boy: No, that's my brother. I am JOKING...!!! 

WEEKEND STATUS

I wish life had a rewind–the-weekend button....

AWESOME STATUS

"TRUST IS LIKE AN ERASER, IT GETS SMALLER AFTER EVERY MISTAKE..."

STATUS FOR WHATSAPP

DONT BREAK ANYBODY'S HEART AS THEY HAVE ONLY ONE , BREAK THEIR BONES AS THEY HAVE 206..

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

DIFFICULTIES IN YOUR LIFE DONT COME TO  DESTROY YOU,
BUT TO HELP YOU REALIZE YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL...

status for facebook for girls

BE A GIRL WITH A MIND,
A WOMAN WITH AN ATTITUDE....
AND A LADY WITH A CLASS.

marriage joke

Beautiful answer-

Daughter: what is marriage?

Mom: marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore"....😀

joke for whatsapp

Ek Raat 2 Baje Bahot Tez Baarish Ho Rahi Thi..


Ghar Ki Ghanti Baji To Aadmi Ne Gehri Neend Se Uth Kar Darwaaza Khola..


Darwaaze Par Bheege Huye
Sardarji Khade The..

Sardarji Ne Aadmi Se Request Ki Plz Dhakka Laga Doge Kya..???

Aadmi Neend Me Tha Isiliye Mana Kar Ke Andar Aa Gaya...
Lekin Phir Usse Guilty Feel Hua..
Usne Socha Baarish Mein Koi Meri Help Na Karta To..???
Woh Utha Darwaaza
Khola Aur Uss Ne Awaaz Lagaai Kya Aapko Abhi Dhakka Chahiye Sardarji..???


Awaaz Aayi 'Haan'


Man: Theek Hai Sardarji Lekin Aap Ho Kahaan..???



Sardarji Yahan Garden Mein Jhule Par..

joke on smokers

Smoking Helps You Lose Weight .



One Lung At A Time! 

status for whatsapp

Guys insult each other and don't really mean it, and girls compliment each other and don't really mean it.

joke on girls

Dog - Bowwww Bowwww

Cat - Meowww Meowww

Crow - kawww kawww


Girls :-


Awwww Awwwww

indian cricket team captaincy joke

Selectors - tumhara b'day kab hai ?
Ganguly- 8th JULY
Selectors- Ok, you're captain.

Selectors- tumhara b'day kab hai?
Dhoni- 7th JULY
Selectors- Ok, you're the next captain.

Selectors- tumhara b'day kab hai?

Kohli- Sir hota to 5th Nov ko hai,
par main manata 6th JULY ko hoon.

facebook joke

Malkin:" Tu 3 din kaam pe nahi aayi...?? 
Kaamwali:" Maine to Facebook pe update kiya tha

"Mai Gaon Ja Rahi Hu"

Aapke pati ne comment bhi kiya tha:
"Will Miss u .."

friendship message

Very Touching.... yeh msg  Dosti ke naam
.
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo Aapke Liye Kamaye,...
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aapki T-Shirt
.
Maang Kar Le Jaye Aur Kabhi
.
Wapis Na De…...
.
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo Aapko Treat De,..
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aapke Ghar Aaye
.
Aur Kahe "Aaj Kya Paka Hai,...Jo
.
Bhi Hai Jaldi Se Le Aa".....
.
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo Call Karke Milne Aaye,..
Dost Wo Jo Ghar Ke Samne
.
AakeMSG Kare "Kamine Bahar Aa...
.
.Dost Wo Nahi Jo Kahe Wo Ladki
.
Teri Kismat Me Nahi...
.
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo Kahe"Saale Party
.
De Party Use To Ghar Se Utha
.
Layenge Tere Liye"..
.
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo Janaze Me Aaye,.
..Dost Wo Hai Jo Kabar Pe T-Shirt
.
Le Ke Aaye Aur Kahe"Le Saale
.
Nahi Chahiye Tera Ehsaan Chal Uth .
Aur Meri Dosti Wapis Kar..

shayari for facebook

Ga saku apka nagma wo saaz kaha se lau,
suna Saku Kuch aapko, wo andaz kaha se
Lau,
Yu to Chaand taro ki tarif karna aasan hai,,
Kar saku aapki tarif wo alfaz kaha se
lau…..!

shayari for facebook

Ankho me armaan diya karte hai hum.
Sabki neend chura liya karte hai hum.
Ab se jab jab aapki palke jhaphkengi.
Samajh lena tab tab aapko yaad kiya karte
hai hum.

shayari for facebook

Mohabbat karo tu dhoka na dena,

Pyar ko ansuo ka tohfa na dena,

Dil se Roe koi aapki yaad mein…..

Aisa kisi ko moqa na dena.

shayari for facebook

koi gila na koi shikwa rahe aapse
ye aarzoo hai ek silsila bana rahe aap se
bas ek baat ki umeed hai aapse
khafa na hona agar hum khafa rahain aap
se.

shayari for facebook

Suraj pass ho na ho, Roshni aaspas rehti
hai,
Chand paas ho na ho, Chandini aaspas
rehti hai,
Waise hi aap pas ho na ho,
aapki Yaadein hamesha paas rehti hai…..!

shayari for watsapp

Nigahen aapki pehchan hai hamari,
Muskarahat aapki shan hai hamari,
Karna hifazat tum apni…..
Kyounki sanse tumhaari jaan hain
hamari…

shayari for facebook

Kuch Nasha Aapki Baat ka hai,
Kuch Nasha Dhimi Barsat ka hai,
Hame aap yuhi Sharabi mat Kahiye,
ye Dil par asar aapse pahali mulakat ka
hai…

shayari for girls

Hame itna pyar mat karna ki,
duniya me mashhoor ho jaye
aur na hi itna bewafa banana…..ki
hum duniya ko chhodne k liye majboor ho jaye..

shayari for girls

Band hothon se kuchh na kahkar,
ankhon se pyar jatate ho,
Jab bhi aate ho,
hamen hamse hi chura le jate ho.

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

IT FEELS SO GOOD  TO HEAR WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "TAKE CARE" BUT, IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER TO HEAR WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU"  <3 <3 <3 <3 

status for facebook

You're not my life but you're the one I want to spend it with. You're not my world, but you're the best thing in it.

status for facebook

Don't talk to me because you're bored, I'm not here to entertain you. Don't come to me only when you need a favor, I don't like being used.

picture message for whatsapp

LOVE QUOTE

YOU DONT NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU ....
YOU ONLY NEED SOMEONE TO ACCEPT YOU COMPLETELY...

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

ONE DAY YOU WILL BE JUST A MEMORY FOR SOME PEOPLE....
DO YOUR BEST  TO BE A GOOD ONE....

facebook joke

AFTER DRINKING - 

MEN TALK UNNECESSARILY....

BECOME EMOTIONAL....

DRIVE BADLY....

STOP THINKING....

FIGHT FOR NOTHING..

BUT HATS OFF TO WOMEN 

COZ THEY CAN DO ALL THESE WITHOUT DRINKING!!! LOL..

pappu jokes

Pappu :- Miss kya aap mujhe raat ko
call kar rahi thi.?

Teacher- Nahi to...

Pappu :- Kamaal hai..! subah mere
mobile pe likha tha-
MISS CALL...

joke for facebook

Electrons were partying....

Suddenly protons came and attacked them...

Just a while befored the electrons were to be defeated 
someone came and rescued them..

One of the electron asked "who are you?"

The guy replies..

"I'm Bond..
Covalent bond"

picture for whatsapp

software engineer jokes

A Software Engineer was smoking

A Lady Said: "Can't U See the Warning!
Smoking is Injurious to Health..!!
.
.
He Replied: 
"We bother Only about ERRORS.. Not WARNINGS.."

joke for girls

Women drivers are like stars in the sky.

You can see them, but they can't see you..

what is kiss

What Is a Kiss..??  

In Maths:- Kiss is the shortest distance
between two Lips ... 

In Biology:- kiss is just exchange of
germs from one mouth to another.

In chemistry:- kiss is a process of
testing the ph of the lips.

In Physics:- It is a process to charging
a human body ... 

In Computer:- Kiss is a local area
network in Which two bodies are
Connected without a data cable..

In Economics:- Kiss is a process in
which Demand is higher than supply !! 

school jokes

Announcement in a SCHOOL: 

"Students who've Parked their
cycles in front of the main Gate, Plz move their cycles to the Parking area!!"

After 60 mins another
announcement: "The 999 students who went
to move 10 cycles Please come back to your classes!

shayari for facebook

Dil todna hamari aadat nahi,
Dil hum kisi ka dukhate nahi,
Bharosa rakhna meri wafaon pe…..
Dil me basa k hum kisi ko Bhulate nahi..

shayari for lovers

kya mangu khuda se tumhe pane k baad.
kiska karu intzar zindgi me tere aane k
baad.
kyun pyar me jaan luta deta hai log…..
mujhe maloom hua tumhe apna banane k baad.

shayari for lovers

Ehsas Bahut Hoga Jab Chhor K Jaenge,
Roenge Bahut Magar Aansu Nahi Aaenge,
Jab Sath Na De Koi To Awaz Hume Dena
Aasman Per Bhi Honge To Laut K Aaenge.

shayari for facebook

Tammana se nahi tanhai se darte hain,
pyaar se nahi ruswaai se darte hain,
milne ki to bohat chahat hai……..
par milne k baad judaai se darte hain

shayari for lover

Yaad mein teri aanhe bharta hai koi,
har saans k saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut to sachai hai aani hai…..
lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai
koi….!

shayari for facebook

Sham dhali, raat aayi Dil dhadka 
 Fir tumhari yaad aayi,
Aankho ne mehsus kiya us hawa ko 
 jo tumhe chukar hamare pass aayi.

shayari for lovers

Pani ka ek katra aankh se gira abhi abhi..
kya tum ne mujko yaad kiya abhi abhi..
tujh se mile zamana hua magar…
yun laga koi mujse mil k gaya abhi abhi..

shayari for lovers

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gaye hai,
gam ke sagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum aajao wapis yeh gujarish hai meri….
shayaad mujhe tumari aadat si hogayi hai.

shayari for girls

Chehre pe haseen chha jati hai,
Aankhon main suroor aaa jata hai,
Jab tum mujhe apna kahte ho,
Apne pe ghuroor aa jata hai.

shayari for facebook

Dil ke rishtey bhi ajeeb hote hai..
duur reh kar bhi kareeb hote hai…
jo log aapko roz dekhte hai..
woh log kitne khushnaseeb hote hai.

picture for whatsapp

picture for whatsapp

status for whatsapp

IF YOU ARE GOOD AT SOME THING..NEVER DO IT FORFREE

status for whatsapp

YOU ONLY REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU WANT TO USE ME!!!!

status for whatsapp

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GREAT TO START....BUT YOUR START HAS TO BE GREAT!!!!

status for whatsapp

HEY THERE WHATSAPP IS USING ME!!!!

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

90% of girls have those boyfriend with whom they 

don't have any future !!

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

Dont love the person who enjoys
with u...!!
Love the person who really suffers
without you...!!
Bcoz
The pain of Real Love can never be
defined!!!

JOKE FOR WHATSAPP

3 kamchor mil k khana kha rhe the.......


unko namak kam laga,


1 bola:" jo pehle bole ga wo namak laye ga..

Sb bethe rahe......na koi bola,


na khaya, 3 din aise hi guzar gaye,


teeno behosh ho gye..


Logo ne murda samajh kar janaza padhaya..


jab pehle waley ko qabar mein utarne lage to woh bola



"oye mai zinda hu" Baki 2no bhi usi waqt bole"
chal putar namak le k aa..

JOKE FOR WHATSAPP

Sharif ladko se jyada kismat wale to gali k kutte hai

Kam se kam ladki palat palat k dekhti to hai ki aa
raha h ya nhi...

JOKE FOR WHATSAPP

Height of MISUNDERSTANDIN G..

Someone placed a bomb near a lady..
.
.
.
Everyone started yelling:

"Aunty bomb hai"

"Aunty bomb hai"

She smiled&said:"
Nahi re paglon, ab Pehle jaisi baat kahan.. 

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU SHARE YOUR WEAKNESS WITH..

SOME PEOPLE CANT WAIT  FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO USE THEM AGAINST YOU.... 

JOKE FOR WHATSAPP

Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kahaa Gaya..

Essay me usne Likha:" Ek Garib Parivar tha,

Pita Garib, Maa Garib, Bachche
Garib.

Parivar me 4 Naukar the, wo
bhi Gareeb..

Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..

Unka Garib Driver Bachon ko Tooti Car me School Chhod Ke Aata tha..

Bachon K paas Purane Samsung S3 Mobile the..

Bache Hafte me 4 bar hi Chicken Khate the..

Ghar me 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C.. the..

Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha.... :P

FAMOUS QUOTE FOR FACEBOOK

WHAT IS SUCCESS????

IT IS BEING ABLE TO GO TO BED EACH NIGHT WITH 
YOUR SOUL AT PEACE - PAULO COELHO

KISSING JOKE

Never KISS a lady police
She will say, hands up....
.
.
.
Never KISS a lady doctor
She will say, next please.....
.
.
.
Always KISS a lady teacher
She will say:
.
.
.
Repeat it 5 times..

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

FALLING IN LOVE IS EASY.. BUT STAYING IN LOVE FOREVER IS REALLY VERY SPECIAL...

JOKE FOR GIRLS

Height Of Nonsense....

Girl : Mera Facebook Pe Account Ban Sakta HaiKya???

Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai..Tumhara kya Kisi Ka Bhi Ban Sakta Hai..

Girl : To Main Apne Account Me Paise Jama Kara Sakti Hu..

(GUY GIVE A SURPRISE LOOK)

Girl : Kya Hua..??? Lagta Hai Tumko Bhi
Zyada Knowledge Nahi Hai Is Baare Me.

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

SOMETIMES, IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU SOMETIME  TO BE
 WHO YOU ARE..

status for facebook

YOU NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE, UNTIL BEING STRONG IS THE ONLY 

CHOICE YOU HAVE - BOB MARLEY....

whatsapp joke

Wife : How much do you love me ?
Husband : I love U so much, I can't measure.

Wife : No just tell me....
Husband  : Okay, I am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, i am nothing without you...

Wife : Wow ! that's so romantic...

Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards... :D

STATUS FOR FACEBOOK

I want to kiss the most cutest  person in the world..
.
.
.
.
.
But my lips can't reach to my cheeks.:p

facebook joke

TEACHER :- ONE DAY OUR COUNTRY WILL BE CORRUPTION FREE.
WHICH TENSE IS IT?

STUDENT :- FUTURE IMPOSSIBLE TENSE..LOL

shayari for facebook

Jab jab aapse milne ki umeed nazar aayi…
mere paav mein zanjir nazar aayi..
gir pade aansu aankh se…
aur har ek aansu mein aapki taswir nazar aayi..

shayari for facebook

Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte
hai tumko,
par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,
Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se,
par khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.

shayari for facebook

Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,
Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.

shayari for facebook

Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,
Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

shayari for girls

Suna hai waqt ke saath halat badal jate
hain,
Insan badal jate hain, jazbat badal jate
hain,
Par tum na badloge, ye aitbar karta hoon,
Main tumse pyaar karta hoon....
Main tumse pyaar karta hoon....