happy new year picture

joke in marathi

Wife jokes

Man: is there any medicine for long life?

Doctor: get married

man: will it help?

Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts

Student jokes

Teacher: Gaali kya hai? Student: Krodh ke smay mukh se nikle ashudh shabdon ka samuh Jinke uchcharan ke paschat Vyakti ke hriday Ko ShantiKa anubhv hota hai.

Girls joke

Girl: Pados wali Aunty mujhe bohat tang karti theen.. Jab b kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti “AB TUMHARI BARI HAI”

Phir maine un ki ye aadat khatam karwa di.

Friend: Kaise ?

Girl: Jab koi Mar jata tou main un k Gaal kheench k kehti.. “AB AAP KI BARI HAI”

Santa jokes

Santa ki tapsya se khush ho kar bhagwan bole: ‘VAR MANGO VATS’

Santa: Prabhu!! jaisa aap soch rahe hai mein vaisa nahi hu.. ‘MUJHE VADHU CHAHIYE’

Santa jokes

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge? 

Santa: Biwi Se 

Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi

 Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :D

santa jokes

Sir - define energy??

Santa - sir pura to nhi ata but last ka pata hai bas.

SIR - thik hain,jitna ata ha utna bolo.
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Santa ". . . . . This is called energy"

student jokes

Teacher : " Lofer " aur " offer " main
kya Farak hai ??

Student : Very simple mam agar
ladka "I LOVE YOU " bole toh " lofer "
aur ladki bole to "offer "...

cute good morning image

happy new year image

happy new year image

arvind kejriwal cm joke

Arvind Kejriwal : IIT in first attempt,

IRS in first attempt,

CM in first attempt.
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...apna naseeb to dekho......

idhar apni bike bhi first kick me start nahi hoti
😅

joke for facebook

Agr life mein kabhi aapse koi
mistake ho jaye..!


To 2 mins. apni aankhen band
karke..!!


Socho ke...


Iska ilzaam kispar lagaya jaye..!!!

student jokes

A student was asked 2 write a signboard-
for the traffic rules near the college campus


He wrote:-
"Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the innocent students,


Plz, Wait for the Teachers..!"

new year jokes


Jaane Anjaane me agar 2013 me
Mujh se aap ko pareshaani hui ho,
Yaa aap Hurt hue ho to us ke liye
2014 me bhi Ready rehna kyu ke..
Calendar badlega
Hum nahi..😋

happy new year jokes

Wishng U
Happy New Year,
I Know Ye Jaldi Hai,
Pr Kya Karon Buht Sare Sweet,
Young Dashing, Smart Friends Ko
Wish Karna Hai.
Socha Pehle
.x
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Buzurgo Ko Nipta Dun. 

pj for whatsapp

Aaj pagal day he
Apki nazar me jo pagal he use ye sms bhejo,
mene to bhej deya he
Wapas muje bhej kr maha pagalo wali harkat mat krna ok ...

good morning status

Lions sleep 18 hrs a day but, a
donkey work 18hrs a day.
If hardwork is secret to success,
then donkey would have been king
of jungle.
BE LAZY .... THINK CRAZY !!!!!
Enjoy the d day.
Good Morning

happy new year joke

This joke is dedicated to all those in Sales.

A Man was waiting to cross d HighWay but was hesitant because of speeding cars.

Suddenly d Yumdoot appeared & said, "Bachcha, Tu aise hi Darr raha haI...You are going to live past 90 year of age. Dont let such things scare you ever.

The Man moved forward with new courage, got hit by d first car and died.

In Heaven, He asked d Yumdoot as to why did he lie.

The Yumdoot answered, "Sorry man, Year Ending pressure tha, Had to achieve my targets."

Happy Year Ending.

shayari for facebook

Toofan mein taash ka ghar nahi banta,

Rone se bigda muqaddar nahi banta,

Duniya ko jitne ka hausla rakho,

Ek haar se koi faqeer aur ek jeet se koi
siqander nahi banta...

wife jokes

Wife:Aren't you wearing your wedding ring
on the wrong finger?

Hubby: Yes I am, I married the wrong
woman...

Husband rocked..wife shocked..

status for facebook

Suppose you got
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1 missed call from ur crush
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2 missed calls from ur love
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2 missed calls from ur mom/dad
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3 missed calls from u boss
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6 missed calls from ur ex
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Whom will you call 1st ???
.
Comment fast.

christmas status

A Punjabi woman says, "Haye,
Meri Kismat!" on the street.
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.A foreigner passes by and replies,
"Merry Christmas to you too,
Ma'am!"
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL FRIENDS

status for facebook

True Fact
There are only 2 types of honest people in
this world ..
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Small childern and drunk people....

girl jokes

Decent Thought for All Girlz
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Agar Husband Bhagwan Saman Hota hai Toh..
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Boyfriend bhi Koi Chhota MoTa Devta Hota Hi Hoga

pj for whatsapp

only for genius

if...
1=5
2=10
3=15
4=20

then
5 = ??
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first guess the answer then go down
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are you sure that
you had guess the right answer
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i think your answer is 25
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but your answer is wrong
if you want to know the right answer
then go down
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the right answer is = 1
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if you want to know the reason
then go and check above
it is clearly written that 1=5
so normally 5=1......lol

joke for whatsapp

Normality Check
.
You Are A Normal Person In Case of..
1- U Got A Facebook Account
2- U Got A Mobile Phone
4- U Are Wasting Ur Time Reading This
5- U Didn't Notice That ThereIs No No. (3)
7- U Went To Check If No. 3 Is There
8- Where Is No. 6 stupid ?
9- U Are Now Smilingi
10- Where Is No. (1)
11- LOL you Went To Check No.1
it means you are not normal at all...

joke in marathi

एकदा एका 31 पार्टीत DJ विचारतो :-
"कितीवेळ वाजवायचं आहे?"


झंप्या :- 8-10 पेग पर्यंत वाजवं .....
नंतर हे सगळे.... जेनरेटरच्या आवाजावर पण
नाचतील... 

engineering jokes

Engineering law of LOVE:

LOVE can neither be created nor be
destroyed



It can be only transferred from
EX to NEXT

dhoom 3 joke

Aamir Khan: This year will end with
Dhoom





Arvind Kejriwal: No way! This year will
end with Broom

good morning picture message

joke for whats app

Biscuit wale ka love letter:

Dear Marie,

today is good day,

U have krack-jacked my little heart,

Now i am in 50-50 Position,

Piz don't play hide & seek,


 Tumhara Tiger

shayari for facebook

Kisi SHAYAR ne maut ko kya khub kaha hai:

Zindagi mei 2 minute koi mere pas na betha

Aaj sab mere paas bethe ja rahe the

Koi tohfa na mila aj tak mujhe

Aaj phool pe phool diye ja rahe the

Taras gaye ham kisi ke ek hath ke liye

Aaj kandhe pe kandhe diye ja rahe the

Do kadam sath chalne ko taiyar na tha koi

Aaj kafila ban sath chale ja rahe the,

Aaj pata chala mujhe ki "MAUT" kitni hasin hai

Kambakht.. Hum to yuhi zindgi jiye ja rahe the

wife jokes

Patni: i love u
i cnt live without u!
mar jaungi...!
mit jaungi..!
Jehar pee jaungi
tere pyar m e fanna ho jaungi!

Pati: dekh tere ko kaisa jamta hai, vaisa kar.

student jokes

Teacher: Can you see God?

Class: No

Teacher: Can you touch God?

Class: No

Teacher: Then there is no God!
(few minutes later)

Pappu: Sir, can you see your brain?

Teacher: No

Pappu: Can you touch your brain?

Teacher: No

Pappu: Oho ok, So you have no brain...

Pappu rocked ...teacher shocked

good morning picture message

dhoom 3 joke picture

good night picture message

thought for the day

Gm
"TaKE IT EASY"
is a concept for comman people

But,
"MaKE IT EASY"
is a concept for Brilliant people
Good Morning

boyfriend joke



Boy to gals father: " I knw it's just a formality but still I ask u , can I marry ur daughter?"

Father: " who told it's just a formality?"

Boy: " GYNAECOLOGIST..!!!"


Christmas status for facebook

Everyone said...
Santa aayega santa aayega...


ßut we all know...
"Ghanta aayega"

GOOD MORNING message

"This Moment Is Not Permanent In Life"
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Read Above Line Whenever You are
Happy,
Angry,
Upset,
Lonely or Sad,
It Really Works.. !

 GOOD  MORNING 

never give up picture

joke for whatsapp

Na moh Na maya hai,

kya saara aalas tumhe hi aya hai..

Hame bhi msg kar liya karo bhai...

Mummi Papa ne mobile Sirf ''GIRL FRIEND" K liye nahi dilwaya hai..

Best Christmas status

Dear Santa- I don't want much for Christmas. I just want the person reading this to be HAPPY:)

Dhoom 3 picture joke

funny girls picture

merry christmas picture

girls joke

Boy : " Tum Gaana Bahot Achchha Gaati Ho"

Girl : " Thanks But I'm Just Bathroom Singer..............

Boy : " To Bulao Na Kabhi Apne Live Program Pe" 

girlfriend jokes

The 3 magical words a Guy dies to hear from a
Girl


"I was wrong..."

Girfriend jokes

Girlfriend to  her boyfriend


"Darling do u knw , handsome &
smart boys always get stupid
Girlfriend"


 
Boyfriend-"thanx for compliment"

student jokes

Student:" mujhe sanskrit sikha do

Pandit:" kyon ??
 

Student:" devtao ki bhasha hai,
swarg me kaam ayegi..


Pandit:" agar narak mein gaya to ?? .


student:" Galiya dene mein toh PH.D ki hai.

Arvind Kejriwal CM

Arvind Kejriwal,
must be the 2nd fastest person to become CM,
from date of joining politics.

1st was Anil Kapoor in Nayak.

Break up status

After Break up.....

They can't Be Friends As they have Hurt Each other,

They can't Be Enemies As Once they Loved Each other,

The Only Thing They can Be, Are the Most Familiar Strangers.

cute love picture

Einstein returns picture

love status

Girl : Why we need a lover when
we have so many around to love us ?


Boy : air is everywhere,but we still
need a fan to feel it.

picture message for facebook

Merry Christmas picture

status for facebook

Dear Math, Stop Asking To Find Your X, 
She's Not Coming Back. 

status for whatsapp

Yesterday I got a scolding from my dad
because of my obsession for Linkin Park. 

But in the end it doesn't even matter.

wife jokes

Wife : Honey before we got
married , you used to give me gifts
and expensive jewelery.
Husband : Yes...so ?
Wife : How come you don't do it
anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a
fisherman give worms to the fish
after catching it?

joke for facebook

Sir :- Birbal Kaun Tha......??
Student :-"Pata Nahi Sir"Sir :- "Padhaai Par
Dhyaan Doge ToNa Pata Chale". .
Student :-"Sir Pramod, Vicky, Gaurav Kaun
Hai....?? .
Sir :-"Mujhe Kya Pata.. . .
Student :-"Beti Par Dhyaan Do To Pata
Chale ??
Master Shocks Student Rock.

facebook joke

The Perfect Son. 
A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Monday.

awesome joke

2  soldiers capture a gangster,
gave him a dice & said:

If u get 1,2,3,4,5,We'll kill u.

Gangster askd: Aur agar 6 aya to?

Soldiers: Kabhi 'LUDO' nahi khela kya?
Phir se chance milega..

girlfriend jokes

Girlfriend setting password for her laptop with boyfriend sitting beside her..

She types “BRAIN” as password

Boyfriend fell down of his chair laughing,
Bcoz

Laptop replied: “TOO SMALL"

girlfriend joke

Girl: Now stop looking at girls,
u r commited now!

Smart Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU

Shayari for facebook

Shayari for facebook

ARZ KIYA HAI .
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya..wah wah...


Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya...wah wah.


Aaj usi Ne Facebook Pe BLocK Kar Diya..

student joke

Maths Teacher: Jab Mai Tumhari umar
ki thi,

Toh mere 100 marks aate the.

Student: Aate Honge madam ji,

apko ko Koi Acha Teacher Padhata Hoga.   

Teacher shocked.. Student rocked..

facebook status

I'm A Very PATIENT Person And I Give Plenty Of Second Chances

But I am Not A SAINT, I Have My LIMITS..

you've changed status

When people say " you've changed " it just means you have stopped acting the way they 

wanted you to.

pappu jokes

Pappu is stopped by the Police around 1 am. & is asked where he is going at this time of night. 

The man replies, "I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health."

Officer: Really....??? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at this time of night.....???"
...
Man replies "My Wife"!!!

whatsapp joke

Postman Knocked The Door..

A Kid Came Wid Cigrete In
Mouth &
Beer In Hand..

Postman:" Papa Hain.. ??


.Kid:" Abe Bhootni Ke,
Mujhe Dekh Ke Lagta Hai,
Baap Ghar me hoga... 

student joke

Teacher : Complete the sentence..

"Early to bed and early to rise.."

Student : This Man has no interest in his wife...

shayari joke

Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kacha Na Ho,
Wah Wah….

Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kaccha
Na Ho,

Aur Mohabbat Aise Nibhao Ke Bacha Na
Ho....
ab wah wah mat karo..
share karo market me naaya hai

santa joke

Shadi mein juta chupai ke time dulhe ki ek saali boli: Jijaji main to 1100 lungi.

Second saali: Jijaji, 1100 se kaam nahin chalega, main toh 2100 hi lungi.

Peeche se Santa bola: 2310 le lo usmein bluetooth aur FM bhi aata hai

student joke

Master: Kanjoos kise kehte hai ?.

Student: Jo 100 sms krne pr b reply nhi krte.

Master: Very good, Ek example do..

Student: Sir,Aapki Beti..!

wife joke

Newly Married Couple 

Biwi : Aaj tum udaas kyu ho? 

Husband : Meri Maa or Bahen alag
ho gai hain. . 

Biwi : Koi baat nahi ab me aagai
hun na, 
Tumhari Maa Bahen ek kar dungi .

Insult joke

High Class Insult . . . 

Girl to Boy: Apne Baal to dekho jaise Ghass Ugi Ho. 

Boy 2 girl: Isliye itni der se soch raha hu
ke mere saamne Bhais kyun khadi h... 

santa joke

Girl: Will u marry me?

Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai???

Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

joke for facebook

Americans invented a machine 2 catch thieves..

Test started

America: In 30 mins, 50 caught

London: In 30 mins, 70 caught

Spain: In 30 mins 100 caught

India: In 15 min,
 





"Machine stolen!"
MERA BHARATH MAHAN

joke for whatsapp

Duniya ki 3 heraan karne wali haqiqat

Haqiqat 1:

ap apni shans rokkar apni eyes Band nahi kar
sakte.


Haqiqat 2:

pahli haqiqat padne ke baad tamam bewaquf
ise karne ki kosish karenge

haqiqat 3: 

ab aap hans rahe honge kyonki ap
bewaquf ban gaye ho.

joke for facebook

OLD Generation vs New Generation.

OLD GEN:Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab...!!!

NEW GENERATION: "Kal ka kaam aaj MAT karo, Usko kal tak rakho..kya pata us kaam ko karneki jarurat hi na pade.."

joke for facebook

Boy:can i hold your hand ?

Girl:no

Boy:why?

Girl:because it hurts when you leave it

Boy: baap reeee, i am acting but she is
overacting...

joke in marathi

फेसबुक वरील मुलीचं अकाऊंट हे १००० रूपयाच्या नोटासारखे असते..

मनात एकच भिती असते,
' च्यायला , फेक तर नाही ना...

joke in marathi

ती बोलली ' माझ्यासारखी दुसरी तुला भेटणार
नाही.....'

मी तिचं नाव लिहून फेसबुक वर सर्च केलं,
तिच्यासारख्या ५६ सापडल्या
पोरींची कमी नाही....

आली हुक्की दिली बुक्की

joke for facebook

Try this 

She: I hate you,
You forgot my birthday?!

Me: How do you expect me to
remember your birthday,
when you never look any older?

She: Awww..., so sweet

status for facebook

Bored of being bored because being bored is boring.

girlfriend joke

Height Of Torture.


Bf:i Am Very Tensed Today,

Mood Kharab Hai, sir Bhi Dukh Raha Hai.

Gf : hmmmmm...

Accha Wo Sab Chhodo, ye Dekho!!

Mera Naya Purse..

status for facebook

"Your greatest test is when you are able to bless someone else while you are going through your own storm."

joke for facebook

Want To Be 1st In Your Class..??

Tips

1. Wake Up Everyday At 5 Am..!!

2. Drink Tea Or Coffee..!!

3. Go To School At 6 Am,

And Nobody Will Be There In Your Class..!!

You Are 1st In Your Class..!!!

joke for facebook

Wife: U had lunch?
Husbnd : U had lunch?



Wife : Im asking u.
Husbnd : Im asking u.



Wife: U copying me?
Husbnd: U copying me?



Wife: Lets go shopping

Husband: I had lunch

joke for facebook

Girl: I Love U

Boys: (started Running)....!!

Girl: hey hey.. Why u r running????

Boy: I M going To Change my Relationship On Facebook 

Status for facebook

Dunya kaa usssul hai ..... Jab tak kaam hain ..tab tak naam hain Jab tak kaam hain..tab tak naam hain.. Warna bhay durr se salam hain....✋

Joke for facebook

If movies were made by drinkers...🍺🍸🍹🍷 🔅Soda Akbar 🔅Rab Ne Pila di Thodi 🔅Rum de basanti 🔅Hum tight ho chuke sanam 🔅Beer Zara 🔅Bevde Zameen Par 🔅Ek Tha Bagpiper 🔅Talli six 🔅Rum Maro Rum 🔅Maine Drink Tujko Diya 🔅Bewdy Rathore 🔅Hickk Hick Hota Hai 🔅DaaruDas 🔅Hum Tunn 🔅Maine Neat Kyu Piya 🔅Peg Liya To Chakna Kya 🔅Ulti Kar Di Aapne 🔅Whiskiya 🔅Pinewale Baatliyaa Le Jayenge....😂🍺🍻🍸🍷🍺🍻🍸🍷😍😍😝😜😅😂

Status for facebook

My iphone battery can last longer than most relationships on Facebook.

Status for facebook

Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking, but nothing ever changes.

Status for facebook

Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

Status for facebook

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes.A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever !

Joke for facebooke

~ Romance Mathematics ~ Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Punjabi joke

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

Joke for whatsapp

A MAN TO HIS FRND-MAIN APNA PURSE GHAR PE BHUL AAYA MUJHE 1000 RS KI ZARURAT HAI BANTA-DOST HI DOST KE KAM ATTA HAI YE LE 10 RS RIKSHA KAR KE PURSE LE AA..

Status for facebook

every bad situation will have something positive in it...even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day...so alwayz think positive...

Good morning status for facebook

When u r too fast to get somewhere, u miss the fun of getting there. Life's not a race, so take it slower n enjoy the music before the song's over! Gud Morning

Joke for Engineers

once RAJNIKANTH appeared 4 IIT exam

socho kya hua hoga

result-fail.

RAJNI HO YA GAJNI ENGINEERING HAI BOSS. . . .

Joke in marathi

हा जोक वाचला तर सगळे आत्महत्या करतील
 •
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 •
 •
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 जोक cancel बाबा ।। उगाच सगळे आत्महत्या करतील आणि माझ्यावर नाव येईल

joke for whatsapp

A Man Gifted his Wife a Diamond Necklace for their Anniversary and Wife didn't Speak to him for 6 Months.

Was the Necklace FAKE?

- No That was the Deal

joke for whatsapp

A couple was having Dinner at a fancy Restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said - "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife- Honey.....You say Prayer before Eating at Home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart......
Here the Chef knows how to Cook !!!!

R I P Paul Walker

R I P Paul Walker - speed thrills, speed kills

facebook joke

Teacher:" What will u do after growng up.. ??

Student:" Facebooking

Teacher:" No! I mean what will u Become...??


Student:" Admin of facebook pages


Teacher:" O My G0d! I Mean what will u Achieve after u grow up...??


Student:" Facebook Admin Rights


Teacher:" Idiot! I Mean what will u do 4 ur Parents...??


Student:" I create a page for them on facebooK. "I Luv Mom n Dad..


Teacher:" Stupid! What do ur parents want from U...??

Student:" My facebook password..


Teacher:" Oh God! What is the purpose of ur Life ??


Student:" Facebook but never face a book..

Teacher shocked.

status for facebook

" Easy to loose Someone By
Saying a Lie.."

But,

" Difficult to Get Back that
Person By Saying Truth.

status for facebook

People will Hate you, Rate you, Shake you, Break you, Mock you...But how Strong you Stand is what Makes you.

status for facebook

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what other says you can't do.

status for facebook

The saddest part today is there are very few people on this planet who 

LIVE...rest of the people just EXIST, SURVIVE and DIE

status for facebook

Never get scared or demotivated..if you face challenges while achieving your desires...

Remember, Stars are there only all the times...but they shine only in darkness..

santa jokes

Santa 'suicide' nahi karne par speech de raha tha

Santa- "suicide nahi karna chahiye,
suicide darpok, kayar aur bujhdil log karte hai.

Suicide karne se to achha hai ki aap zeher kha lo!!!